“Mother... mother...”

They look at me crying and not using small hands to help me wipe my face, but take turns to kiss my eyes, soft touch is really let people melt, I am a little confused, sucking my nose and watching the two children pouting my mouth hard on my eyes, "Mom..."

The heart was tumbling, and the voice behind him was, "It is Lu Er teaches children, see the mother crying, they must kiss the mother... they are very smart..."

Looking back, Shen Mingya did not know when has stood behind me, the body is still very boney, the face is much better than a year ago, not as waxy as before, I just want to open, she said with a smile in the corner of her mouth, "you play with the child first, wait for them to sleep and we talk..."

I um, Shen Mingya then turned into the house, here two children are still scrambling to my eyebrows hard, the game in general, I can not care about anything else, only feel that the fireworks bloom in the heart, arm one left and right holding the two children up,: "mother does not cry, do not cry..."

“Four, very heavy...”

Uncle Xu whispered to me, "This hug will be very tired."

I shook my head, almost greedily looking at the children's close-range little faces, "It's okay, it's not sinking."

Xu Shu smiled and went to my front to speak, "The old lady arrived at noon, she knew that when you went to the provincial city, she said you don't have to tell you deliberately, I was afraid that you were driving too anxiously, but I was afraid that you would come back later and the child would sleep well, so..."

“I understand!”

I looked at Xu Uncle and smiled, "Thank you Uncle Xu, this is too big a surprise!"That is, next time, I will not use the excuse of falling off the roof of the flower house again, I am in a hurry!"

Uncle Xu groaned, standing there with such a little sorry, his eyes were sad, but he was happy.

The arm is a little sour, honestly speaking, really not easy, but I just like to hold, carefully look at the stars, he is a studded version of Xiao Lu II, at a glance is a small Zhengtai, more fat than seen in the video, the face is tender and all the children of more than a year old, a pinch, like being able to wring out the water.

Seeing him, he was also blinking his eyes to look at me, as if in a curious look, small hands touched my face, mouth shouted, "Mom... mother..."

She was unusually lively after I was picked up, she kept laughing, holding my neck and pointing back to the rabbit on the ground, "Mom... Rabbit... Rabbit..."

I know they're still not very good at talking, nod their heads with tears, "It's a rabbit, a little white rabbit."

“The rabbit... the rabbit...”

I was still talking, I was hugged for a while and then hard to the ground, round and slippery eyes glittering look at me, a pair of I was anxious to play with the appearance of rabbits, very familiar, a little let me look in the mirror illusion.

I have seen a hundred days of photos taken by me at home, and now I look at the moon, it is like looking at myself as a child, the most important thing is that this child's behavior seems to be the same as when I was a child!

There is a contrast, you will find the difference, the sister is lively, the brother should be more calm and quiet.

I kept holding myself and couldn't hold myself, so I let go of them and let go of them, watching them both go and throw the rabbits again, and the eyes did not move away from the child for a minute and a second.

What they like to play, I have no temper to accompany the play, even with, teach two re-reading machine-like little guys to learn to talk, the first time I found out, it turned out that I was so patient.

Rabbit to run, look at the moon rush I will help to catch, the stars will be in my grasp to hold the rabbit is a finger, the mouth ah ah two, there are two voices, the moon there to see the bumpy run, the mouth laughs constantly to the next to the stars, stretched small hand to touch the mouth will say, "rabbit... rabbit ... ..."

I smiled and sat down in front of them and nodded, “Yes, this is the little white rabbit, who is the star?”

The moon will have a small finger to the stars, and the mouth will say vaguely, "baby...baby..."

I couldn’t help but laugh, “What is the moon, which is the month?”

The thought moon specially pointed to herself, "baby...baby..."

I am happy to look at the stars that have been calm, "Stars, who is Mom?"

He raised his small face of the meat beep blinked at me, as if to say don't think I asked me such a low question when I was a child, perhaps I looked at my expression too much, trembling and trembling, in my surprised look at my face, "Mom..."

On the side of the moon is not willing to be behind, I also stood up, two steps to my arms, to the other side of my face is also "bar", "Mom!"

I feel happy to die!

When the sun went down, the two little guys fell asleep, and Uncle Xu said that the two children had been playing in the courtyard, and it was long ago that I should have been tired, this was to see that I was happy to come back, so it took a few more hours.

I held the stars, Shen Mingya brought the nanny to help me hold the moon, Shen Mingya followed the next to her still quietly remind me, "This posture is not right, the child will be uncomfortable..."

Very humble learning, although the child is more than one year old, I am still an absolute novice, good in the child during the day to go to the toilet will remind me, the stars will suddenly not play when playing, pointing to their pants do not move, I stood for a few seconds to quickly respond, he is going to untie!

This child does not mean that this child has a lot of words, and when she wants to go to the toilet, she will directly say, "Hush...hush ..."

In contrast, the moon will express more understanding of the appeal is more direct, but I like this contrast between them, always feel that every minute, there are different surprises, two children, is two kinds of surprises!

Taking the child to my bedroom and Lu II, I thought that Shen Mingya would not agree with me sleeping with the child at night, but she did not think that she did not say much, just whispered to me after putting the child on the bed, "drinking milk powder before going to bed, tonight should sleep until dawn, at night to use urine not wet, after midnight must change another, otherwise they will be uncomfortable."

Shen Mingya brought a nanny to see my way too raw to come to help me wear diapers for the child, that action is really fast and easy, Chinese said not, but the key words can still express understanding, first wipe ass, then fold, stick, try to loose, sort out the fold, count is a breath.

I um, she wears one I give the other, and after I finish looking at the two sleeping little angels in the bed, they are already sweating, don't say, this thing looks simple, it is really tired to do.

The main thing you have to be careful, to see the child sleep so well, for fear of waking up ah, uncomfortable ah, fragile, really feel that they are like fragile products, I would like to hold, holding, the strength of the hand is not big.

Shen Mingya did not look at me, covered the child with a quilt to prevent the cold and said lightly, "When the mother was like this at the beginning, busy, where I was born with diapers, I had diapers, all of which were washing diapers, and I had to wake up five or six times at night, that is, I was afraid that the child was wet and did not change her ass again."

I was a little embarrassed, I did not expect her to speak so gently, do not know what to respond to, just nodded, bent over the little face of the two children, I want to accompany them, whenever I am happy.

“Let them sleep, I want to talk to you.”

Shen Mingya let the nanny go out first, directly to me, I naturally promised, out of a bedroom is still three times back, before closing the door to adjust the indoor light, too bright, too dark I am afraid they will suddenly wake up will cry.

I had to have obsessive-compulsive disorder, so I went to the study behind Shen Mingya, and I really didn't want to be separated from the child for a minute!

Into the study, Shen Mingya has turned his back to my position in the window, "in fact, Lu II last year let me bring the child back to you to see, he is afraid that you want to have children, but at that time, his grandfather is sick, the spirit is very poor, I can only take two little guys to accompany his grandfather, so, so, drag the child to show you, don't blame me..."

I was really surprised by Shen Mingya's attitude, but for a moment, she also said that she put it down, and I speculated more about something, and I answered, "I know, my father and I said this thing, that is, Uncle Xia."

Shen Mingya did not turn around, looking at the yard through the floor-to-ceiling window, sighing in her mouth, "more than a year, I know what you do, hard."

It’s not easy, she’ll say that to me!

I didn’t respond, so why didn’t I work hard?Serving the people?

"You don't look like Xue Ruojun at all."

She jumped in her tone of bitterness, I suddenly understood why she did not turn back, is afraid to look at my face to let yourself some words do not give you a good word, "you and her, in addition to the long image, the rest is not like, in fact, you character a little like me, very strong, if not because of Xue Ruojun this relationship, I will appreciate you, really..."

I still stood, as long as her tone stopped, the study would be unusually quiet, because I really did not know what to say, the former mood will let her grind me, and now, no matter what she said, it is praise, or hate, I am very calm.

“You still hate me...”

Shaking my head, this time, I hugged, "I don't want to torture myself, so I don't hate."

If people want to live easily, it is best to look for the state of initialization, otherwise, they will continue to torture themselves in the past, just this life, why not live with yourself?

Shen Mingya smiled lightly, "I hate myself, whenever I see Lu Er, I hate myself... my son, should not bear these..."

Thinking of Lu II, I lowered my eyes, how good it would be if he came back with the children.

He opened his mouth and said, “The past is over, people want to look forward...”

“Yes, the past is over...”

Shen Mingya's body took a deep breath with some shakyness, slightly leaning back, as if desperately restraining a certain emotion, "In fact, one thing, I have been pressed in my heart for more than 30 years, Xia Wendong and Xue Ruojun are misunderstood me on this matter, thinking that my heart is fierce, but the fact is not what everyone thinks, just, I don't bother to explain it."

I didn't open my mouth, and I saw that Shen Mingya finally turned around, but her eyes were a rosy, "Lu II's father, my husband, chose to commit suicide."

“Suicide?”

Didn't you give him a sleeping pill?

Shen Mingya raised her foot to my body, breathing slightly trembling, "At that time, my eldest son was gone, he kept for several days, sleepless, I know that his heart has a little problem, I am afraid that he will happen, let him rest after returning home, but you guess what he and I said?" 」

Looking into the eyes of Shen Mingya, I think I can guess, nothing more than divorce.

Shen Mingya self-deprecating smile, "The son is still cold, he will go to Anfeng side, to find Xue Ruojun, I said impossible, this life, as long as I live, I will not let you be with that woman, I will always remember the last words he said to me, he said, Minya, you are going to force me to die?" 」

She cried, but the corners of her lips were laughing, laughing, tears kept pouring out, "I said, you are going to force me to die, if you are with her, I will take the landing two to die in front of you, so that you live in our shadow all your life!" 」

I didn't say anything, looking at Shen Mingya covering his heart, "I just want to keep him, but he didn't return my words, he closed the door of the room, and when I went to the door in the morning, there was no sound inside, I was afraid that he happened, found the key to go in, only to find that he had eaten sleeping pills... a word, did not leave me..."

Shen Mingya's neck on the deep depression, eyes angry and sad, "did not give me a word, but he still holds a picture of himself and Xue Ruojun, you say, what does this mean for me?" 」

I don't know, I can only imagine a man's wife's panic at that moment, wandering, humiliation, grievance and anger.

"I sent him to the hospital, even if his body has been hard, I asked the doctor to save him!"I can't let him die, I'm afraid my child doesn't have a father!"

Shen Mingya wiped a tear of his own tears, "But the result has been like this, I must also accept that he would rather die, will leave me..."

Deep breath, Shen Mingya seems to be forcing himself to calm down, "in fact, you said before, my eldest son may not die, he begged the landing letter not to go, Lu letter to him when I flung his hand will hold him, but I hesitated for a second, I think the child hurt, that land letter is to go can't go, it is this second, when my hand stretched out, the child rolled down the floor..."

I looked at her quietly, what was I going to say?Self-inflicted?

Shen Mingya smiled, "When I was a child, I always felt that there was nothing I could not do, even my teacher when I went to school, I would be nervous to see me, because my father, because of my grandfather, so I did not believe that I would lose the letter, but the result was a blow of the red fruit..."

She said turning again, turning her back to me to adjust her mood, "Xiao Ruojun questioned me, said that her child's stillbirth is eating my hand and feet of nutrition, nutrition I really have not moved, but stillbirth, perhaps related to me...

Because in those days, I cursed her every morning and evening, cursed Xue Ruojun could not give birth to a child, cursed her not to die, I also found Mr., got the paper man, wrote Xue Ruojun's name every day to let Xiao Gui hit with the soles of shoes, I also used needles, vicious to tie the paper people's belly... You say, stillbirth, is it my reason, or the eyes of the heavens.

“I will not judge the needless judgment of what has already happened.”

Shen Mingya smiled, "Yes, I am not sure, but Xue Ruojun is sure, she thinks I am engaged in the ghost, I do not care ah, anyway, the purpose has become, I quit public office, go to the sea business, busy myself like a madman, for what, is to make the results to show everyone, to Lu letter, how far I am, she took what and I compared, but..."

She fainted a little, "I ignored Lu II, when I want to stop to accompany him, he has been unfamiliar with me, I am an unqualified mother, many people say that I am a strong career, only I know, I am vanity, I am most afraid of, is to let people see that I am actually a loser, I lost my husband, the eldest son, and even my younger son, I also have a mustard, I failed too much."

I listened quietly, throwing out those hatreds and hatreds, in front of me, but a sick and weak miserable woman.

Widowed for more than 30 years, almost tossed six relatives do not recognize, poor, and hateful.

“Aunt...”

“Call me Grandmother.”

I nodded my head and exhaled, "Why are you telling me this?"

Since they are all put down, then waved their hands and smiled, the moment is the most important thing, the dusty past, for me, it does not make sense.

She looked at me and said, "I'm just, I'm just, I'm thinking of you one thing."

“What is it?”

She took a few steps closer to me, "I want to see, Lu's letter."

I was a little puzzled, “See Lu’s father?”But he already...”

"I know he's still down there."

Shen Mingya pulled my hand, tears of eyes leaping up the craving,: "other masters told me, he can't walk for a while and a half, have to stay below for a long time, I also want to see him, but he does not come up, any time, can't be invited, I only want to help him, I don't want to help him, I don't want to help him, I don't want to help him, I don't think of him, I don't want to die, I don't want to help him, I don't want to die, I don't want to help him, I don't want to die, I don't want to kill him, I don't want to help him, I don't want to help him, I don't want to kill him, I don't want to kill him, I don't want to kill him, I don't want to help him, I don't want to help him, I don't want to kill him, I don't want to kill him, I don't want to die him, I

I have a slight anoiny my nose, and I drink it, "Okay."